Another letter.

I never really did figure it out. The complex, yet beautiful entity that is us. Believe me, it's been on my mind every way possible. The very thought has woken up my subconscious mind, where it follows me in my sleep. And you'd be there laying down with your hands behind your head, looking over to my direction and telling me to stop thinking too much and to just come here. I crawl over and at that very moment, it just doesn't matter anymore. All else ceases for those moments and it just doesn't matter. If I could hold the feelings of those moments at all times, I would. But then all is lost and it's my conscious mind's turn. I don't even know why it really matters. But for some reason I just feel like I need to know. That I owe myself the idea of being fully aware. I'm torn between just letting things be and trying to find an answer. I try to just let it be. Sometimes I drown it out with a tune. Close my eyes and drift off into another world again. I've always wondered how it is you actually got here. When did this become real. Because it is fucking real.