Limitless.

I just realized how much I hate expiration dates. I hate time limits. Anything that restricts my full freedom to be content in the now without thinking about the later. Why can't everything we go through in life be gone through without having to worry about its end? It makes it sad almost. To know something is coming near to its end, which makes it harder to fully cease the moment. What I would give to just be limitless. If there's an end, I don't want to know about it. If there are limits, I want the freedom to push it to its farthest extent. If there are boundaries, I want to figure them out for myself. Must everything have an understood end? Doesn't that just take away from the uncertain beauty of life? Or does it save ourselves from the inevitable woes we'll eventually go through anyway? 

Slow down.

In the midst of our fast-paced lives, it's comforting to just slow down and breathe. It's nice to just stop and appreciate everything for a moment. We often forget the true meaning of life, while we carry on with the humdrum routine of our everyday lives. Find room everyday to do something that makes you happy. Easier said than done, but there's always time. Stop moving so fast. Just slow down and breathe. 

The unexpected.

Here I am thinking I can go untouched by anything. That I do have absolute control over what happens to me in my life. Then, out of nowhere, absolutely nowhere, it happens. The unexpected is the scariest, most thrilling feeling one could feel. To feel alive. To feel like a part of something. It's an impossible feeling to figure out myself. Something so full of awe, even the silence is strong with passion. Strong enough to let go of the fear though? But I've always wanted to be alone, it's just been better that way. So why does the loneliness now feel incomparably empty?

Dose of something.

I have never really been into the whole horoscope thing. It was all just a bunch of bogusness to me. Recently, I found myself checking my daily horoscope and applying it to my life. I am really not too sure why I have had the change of heart. Perhaps I need something to believe in. Something to just shed a little light onto my emptiness. Just a little dose of hope maybe. I have no idea. I might be overanalyzing again. Who knows. But whatever it might be, I think we all need something to believe in. Believing in something or someone is part of what makes us human. And do we not all long to feel human?

Piano man.

March 9, 2015. Truly a night to remember.
Growing up hearing his music, I have always had a sense of appreciation. There is no feeling to describe hearing the piano himself, just hundreds of feet away, fill the room with his classic melodies. The same ones I grew to appreciate and love throughout the years. Magical it was.
Thank you, Billy.

2/26/15 1:55am

Silence. Silence. Silence. Silence. Loudness. Silence. Silence. Loudness. Loudness. How is that even fair? My mind is the one thing that is just completely mine, yet I cannot control when the loudness comes and goes. It almost scares me. And I hate anything that scares me. Because it reminds me that I do not have completely control. Of my life. My feelings. My mind. My emotions. And I need to be in control. Being in control mean that I get to choose whether I feel pain or not. And being without the pain means that there is finally silence.

Peace and quiet.

For now.

Wonderwall.

My outside masks my inner thoughts completely. Anything less than that will show signs of weakness. I manage to shut them down for a while. But it could be the slightest trigger that awakens them again. There is no escaping. Too long and the walls begin to cave in. In the distant background, very faintly, "Wonderwall" plays. Give in for the moment. Just close your eyes and drift into nonexistence.

The perfections in the imperfections.

I think life is the most beautiful at its least perfect moments. It is during those moments when we finally realize all the good we had/have. It is during those moments when we can truly appreciate every ounce of our ponderous lives. It is during those moments when we swear to ourselves never to take another thing for granted. I never appreciated my lows till now. I would so much rather feel any kind of pain than to monotonously go through my life without some kind of feeling. How else does one grow? These rough patches are what give our lives strength and endurance for the long run. It is the farthest from easy. But there is no better run than this. 

"We accept the love we think we deserve."

When something is a little too good or you are a little too happy, it almost does not feel right. Instead of letting things be and fall into place, we stop the feeling in its tracks. Sometimes we would rather be the reason for our own sadness than have something or someone else hurt us. At least that way we know it is coming and we can properly prepare ourselves. In a way, I think part of ourselves ask for the sadness. It can be a familiar feeling that we do not necessarily mind feeling anymore. It is all too comfortable. This is the way it has always been, so why let things change? 

Inevitability.

If there is one thing I learned, it is to learn to let go. Do not beat yourself up over things out of your control. There are just some things we cannot change, and we will slowly ruin ourselves believing otherwise. Sometimes we do bring it upon ourselves though. We are fully aware of the consequences yet it does not matter at the moment. But if it once made you happy, is it okay if it slowly takes you over?

We are all on the pursuit.

hap·pi·ness

ˈhapēnəs/

noun

1. the state of being happy.
2.      "she struggled to find happiness in her life"

Happiness. We all long for this. If we cannot find it in ourselves, we look for it somewhere else. Some try to find it in materialistic things. Some in a lover. But it is at the end of the day when you go to bed by yourself when you know if you are truly happy or not. We may go throughout the day smiling and laughing, and that does not mean you are necessarily putting up a front, but that does not exactly mean you are happy either. Or maybe you are. It may seem so simple. Either you are happy, or you are not. But somehow life is just so much more complicated than that. How do you know when you are truly happy? When you finally find your lifelong passion? When you find the person whom you know you are going to spend the rest of your life with? I do not know myself. I would like to think it begins when you find yourself. When you can find it in yourself to accept all of your failures and weaknesses. Then, I believe, you can truly be happy. 

Urban Outfitters Purchase

Urban Outfitters Purchase
Aries Suzie Zodiac Necklace - $18.00
Black Long Brim Fedora - $39.00

I normally don't spend so much on just one item, but I've been wanting a black fedora for the longest time. As soon as I saw the aries necklace, I loved the simplicity. I'm starting to get into zodiac signs as well. I found my new everyday necklace.

Let's do this.

Hello, everyone. Recently, I decided to start blogging again. Why not? Everything from my daily life, interests, wishes, thoughts, food, hauls, poetry, etc. Let's do this.