Sea of lies.

You know when you know write something, read it, and then just erase it all? Partly because it sounds insane. And partly because it's the complete truth. Then, you write something else that's only half true, but it's easier to read so you go with that. You then continue to believe what you've been telling yourself, knowing deep down inside you're just lying to yourself. Somehow though, you tell yourself enough times to truly believe it. You continue to live like that until you come across something. Something that pulls you back to reality and shoves the realization right in front of you. It's a glimpse of the truth and you hate it for that reason. Then, you're left alone trying to figure out what's real in the sea of lies. 

There is nothing worse than not being completely honest with yourself. It's undoubtedly worse than being untrue to someone else. How can you even be honest to anyone else if you can't even be honest with yourself? You just can't. Simple as that. Don't force yourself though. When you want to accept it, you will. And maybe that time will never come. But all you can do is keep it going.